


Step one: falling in love.

by BeforeCoffee



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm not very good at english okay, Idk what i'm doing, M/M, Romance, Takes place after the last book, lovebending, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeforeCoffee/pseuds/BeforeCoffee
Summary: In which Sokka is a lovebender and that's it. That's the story. (I don't know where this is going, most likely in a wall but heh)
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	1. Curtains are essential to a room.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I have no idea what I'm doing, I have a beta for grammar and he's called "free, powerful english grammar checker" so there's that. And it's also my first story (esp. in english, wth am I doing ?) so *panik*. Bye. See ya.

Behind the huge wooden chair that was Zuko's chair in this room - Sokka learned that the young Fire Lord had to be always seated in the most grandiose chair, but also the most uncomfortable judging by the boy's fidgeting - behind his throne, a display of old and fragile vases was put. In the wall, a painting of an old and mean-looking late Fire Lord so big it almost gave a headache to the poor Watertribe warrior. The room was cold. Everything was precious, old, costly, everything had a purpose, not to bring fond memories but the scream at everyone's face "look how rich and strong we are ! Look how many gifts we got and how many treasures we looted !" It was sickening to the younger boy, even tho he grew up on the ice, he felt the room was colder than any place. The whole palace was. Cold, and dark, and full of hateful stares, whether he was walking alone, with the Gaang or with the Fire Lord hims... 

"-Tribe Ambassador ?  
\- Sokka ?"

More than the query of the general, it was Zuko calling his name that pulled him out of his thoughts. He focused his eyes on the people instead of the room and nodded as an acknowledgement. 

"Sorry, I got lost for a second, but no, simply offering peace isn't gonna solve the question, at best it will calm people long enough for their anger to become a good revenge strategy, at worst they won't even sign the treaty."

Someone growled in the assembly, even when daydreaming, the fighter was able to put 2 and 2 and get back on the political game that was playing in front of his eyes. Zuko offered a tiny smile, way much thinner than the ones he had during their days trying to save the world from his power hungry dad. He said that the Ambassador was right, and that the Fore Nation had to offer more, more proofs of their peace intents, more proofs that they won't take up arms again, even of then thousands of comets were to fall on earth. His low and calm voice came to add "We need to create links between our nations. We need to create something real, solid, something that cannot be destroyed and that would seal our friendship and allyship."

Once again, Sokka was taken aback by the strength Zuko put in his words, he was meant to be the Fire Lord, Uncle Iroh was so right. He couldn't stop himself from nodding with enthusiasm but did not yell "YES BUDDY". He looked at those old flower pots and thought that Zuko deserved more that dusty old meaningless things. And came the idea that practically made him jump on his feets. 

"I know !" This time, he couldn't prevent himself from yelling, scaring the old generals in the room and almost Zuko, who was used to sudden bursts of inspiration from the tan boy. "We will open bending and swordsmanship academies in every nation ! Fire benders will have the opportunity to learn eath bending and water bending techniques from those places, and each year they will have to create a piece of art that will represent the kinship between our nations. Or put a display, a show, I don't know !"

He saw the old generals almost roll their eyes. They saw him as a naive kid, just like they saw Zuko as an influencable teenager. It pissed him off. They didn't know how strong he was, how wise and kind he had become in all those years of exile and even tho he lacked experience as a ruler, Zuko only had his people's welfare in mind. And when those cowards hid from Ozai, Zuko came to face him. He was better than them all. Sokka sighed but the Fire Lord decided to speak before him : "I indeed think the Ambassador's idea is brilliant. Avatar Aang was inclined to forgive people based on his past friendships with young people from all the Nations and not to judge them, so if we were to build those schools, in ten years, in twenty years, the number of connections between our nations will be so great no one would ever have the heart to attack the other." And he beamed, clapped his hand signaling that the meeting was over and the idea adopted. Sokka almost got too surprised to run after him, even tho servants looked at him with reprobation because you know, protocol. But he ran anyway and asked Zuko "You really think that's a good idea ?  
— Yes," the older boy was taken aback. Sukka, doubting himslef ? "It's great, and I kinda learnt from watching Katara, Aang and Toph bendings, and your story about learning how to fight is truly a lesson for every one." At this point, the both of them had stopped walking. "I want to try it, I will consider anything to preserve the peace. And to be honest, you are the best strategist in the world, so I believe in you. In your ideas, Sokka."

He was smiling upon Sokka with mischief and so much warm that the heavy drapes and cold painting suddenly seemed less horrendous. Sokka, who was rarely surprised, stayed in the same spot, too shocked to move. He tried to find his words for a time, then resorted to be the funny guy. Better joking than coping with how Zuko's words made his heart-rate erratic. 

"Well, that I am, you are right. Those old farts almost made me forgot who I am" He said while pretending to kiss the muscle on his arm. "By the way, I hate to mention it, but those sad looking meeting rooms are making me sneeze all the time. They are full of dusty pots and...  
— Those are treasures of the Fire Nation !  
— Yeah, yeah, well, it's ugly and so... so... Impersonal.  
— Uh, I guess ?" Zuko shrugged and resumed his walk, "after all, it's a palace and it's meant to looks so grand you forgot what you came for. In a way, it's still Azulon's and Ozai's palace. Sokka, you should really see the royal family's garden, my mother liked it the most, she felt at ease only there. And... So do I.   
— You've missed it when... you know, when you left ?  
— Yes, in a way I missed the only place she was still there, because it was maintained as she abandoned it. Even if it never was the same without her. It was colder and lonelier but still, it was her place. But now, I'm not alone." He stopped walking once again to let his eyes falls on the boy, he had that peculiar ability to look, to truly look at you, giving his all and undivided attention. It almost intimidated Sokka. And the young fighter felt so sad for Zuko, he didn't have it easy, but he had Katara. And the Water Tribe. Zuko faced darkness alone, his own father almost killing him for what ? Speaking out of turn ? And the worst in that is that his voice wasn't even sad or angered. It was just how it was. His own mother left him, he spent his childhood alone and that was it.

"I have you guys, and even if it will never be as nice as when we all were cramped in front of a camp fire, you are here now, Toph comes a lot and I have some precious memories to take everywhere." He gave Sokka a genuine smile and left without allowing the other an opportunity to add anything. He was too bluffed anyway. He lets out a chuckle, and they chatted about easier topics until they had to take separate ways. The brown-haired boy did his best to ignore the pull to follow Zuko to his study and just... What would he do there ? Sit and watch the Lord ? He shacked his head, ignoring the heat pooling in his chest and left for his room. Which, just as the rest of the Palace, was way too big, cold and dark, with the torches casting an almost scary shadow around. He was given the biggest room, even if he was the Ambassador of a smaller country, which might have been thanks to Zuko. He had a huge bed that was definitely not meant for one, or maybe for a giant, a bathroom with a pool instead of a bath and a desk. The whole thing was covered by red and gold drapes, which the boy liked because it was familiar to him, as Zuko only wore red, black and gold on his clothes. 

Sokka almost threw himself on the bed before remembering that he wanted to put some life in the palace. He decided to begin with Zuko's room, that he had already seen when he was crowned Fire Lord, because Aang wanted to share a last night as the Gaang, so they did a sleepover in the boy's bed, which was almost big enough to fit the group and Appa. It was his father's room and Zuko refused to admit it but he hated the place, hated the decoration, hated that it was far from every other room, hated that it was so damn scary but was too afraid to ask for another one, or at least redecorate it. The drapes were black, covering all the windows and the wall, except for a painting of Azulon that covered the wall in front of his bed, from floor to celling. So Sokka stormed out of his room, scaring some servants and requested that they follow him. He will need help. 

At first, the guards refused to let him in, especially seeing all he, and many other servants, was carrying. But he listed all the influential people he knew and Iroh's interruption helped. The old man found the idea very interesting and soon left to find some other things that they wanted to add, which was appreciated by the boy but let him a bit worried, as Iroh was currently wearing an Earth Kingdom garment colored in purple and green. 

Sokka began by pulling out all the black drapes covering the windows and the walls. He felt instantly relieved and less imprisoned. The windows were big and flooded the hardwood floor with light, releasing honey and gold undertone in the wood. He decided to keep the drapes near the window, so Zuko could pull them to sleep, but he wanted to change their color to a cream gold, which was deemed not possible right now, as they only had red and black drapes. But he sent someone requesting them. The walls were now covered in the same wood than the floor, but carved into precious swirls, with gold leaves and touches of red and a delicate pink. The color had begun wearing out, but they had golden and red paint that they could lace with white one, and so the boy ordered servants to get said paint and revive it. The Azulon painting was removed after a long talk to convince the servants and replaced with a family painting of Zuko and Azula's family and another one of the Gaang, made just after the coronation. He put two trees at each sides of the paintings and wild flowers that the servants gathered from the garden in the various flower pots (they told him it was great treasures but he said that so was Zuko and that they couldn't stop him anyway). Iroh came back with a tea set that he put in the desk, and they deemed the work satisfaying. The cream colored drapes would be ready in a day or so, but the work done was pretty satisfying. The walls smelled like paint but the carving work made it looks like a work of art that was warm and cozy instead of all those magnificent but scary drapes, and the hardwood floor combined with the redish sunset light made the room way less cold. They couldn't do anything for the massive bed, but the servants offered to paint it tomorrow because they could actually see the same swirls of paint that had been erased to give it a more serious look. The tea set and the flowers provided the room an impression of someone actually living in it. 

The next day, Sokka had to go after the Earth King that left to travel when Ba Sing Se was taken before being able to see Zuko. But he received a letter from Zuko a week after redecorating saying how much he enjoyed the room and the new drapes, and that maybe it was time to put the Palace into redecoration. Azula could help, but the young sovereign wasn't really sure about her taste, so maybe Sokka will have to come back. To help them, of course. Sokka left to see the Earth King with a wide and beaming smile on his face.


	2. Additional step: Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major character death, you are warned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big sad overcame me, I can't write anything, but I managed to cooperate with the big sad to produce something that I hope will be like me: sad, miserable, but full of love.   
> I wrote that in 20mn or so and used scribens to help me but it might be full of grammar mistakes and I need to learn english, feel free to point what is wrong.

He's been sick, or rather growing weaker and weaker, sometimes loosing sense of his own identity. But today was a good day, his mind was free from that terrible fog and he even cracked a joke during lunch. Comfortably lying in their bed, the former Fire Lord was smiling warmly, looking in the distance. 

"What's on your mind, love?"

Sokka felt like he wanted to be part of his thoughts, not to interrupt or pry, just because he wanted to be always with him, all the time, be it physically or mentally. He missed the time when they were all over each other, yet he felt like the intimacy they had for a few years, barely sexual, yet so tender, so full of love, was even better. Zuko turned his head to look at the men that had shared all the years with him, smiling even more warmly. He didn't had the strength to rise his shoulders, as they had enjoyed those rare "good" days to the fullest, but Sokka saw the hint of mischief in those eyes that had turned blind now. 

"I was thinking how we had so many happy days and...  
\- We have a lot more coming," Interrupted the younger man, dreading what would follow.   
"Yes, maybe. Perhaps. But we had all those days that anyone could qualify as "the best" we will ever have. We got married. Founded a city. Even the day I first saw you is a fond memory."

He was stroking Sokka's hand, that he could find anywhere, anytime, even with eyes clouded by an eternal darkness. He could always find a way to touch him, to lay his hand over his and press them together. It was his way of saying "I'm here, I will never leave you." Yet he was, Sokka was still well faring when Zuko was loosing himself, growing thinner every day. How terrible it was to live without him. He couldn't remember a day when Zuko was not part of his heart. 

"Yet, tonight is the best day I can think of."

Sokka let out a little surprised sound and asked why, why when there was a day they got married, a day they had a child, a day they were young and laughing the troubles away. But Zuko was so calm, so damn sure about how obvious it was, that he couldn't imagine what he had in mind could be wrong. 

"Because like all of those days, I have you by my side, and I have all the memories of those days with me. What is there to ask? Health? I had it for a lot of days. Happiness? I still have it, everytime I feel you by my side. Time? Maybe. Perhaps. But all this happiness just... overcome it all. I am grateful that my path crossed yours.   
\- Then tomorrow will be even happier, right?"

Both of them could hear Sokka's voice crackle, he could feel his throat turn to stone, he should have been at peace with it, the doctors warned them, Zuko could barely eat alone, and refused to eat most days now, and they were old, so old... But he couldn't. He just couldn't. He couldn't imagine a day he was not alive, and Zuko dying was just the same. Eventually, the silence lasted a long time, because Zuko feared that even saying that he was happy could break his lover. He managed to clutch Sokka's hand, holding it like a lifeline, leaving a mark on their old and tired bodies. 

"I'm happy, I am so happy, I can't hold it in my arms, because now I've grown old and too tired to keep in my embrace all you gave to me, Sokka. But I am not happy I will leave before you. Old poems and tales say that the last one to leave is the one you should pity. But I am dying knowing I have inflected you the worst blow in your life, my love, life made me the worst lover in the world, because I will leave you crying and I won't be there to soothe the pain away."

Strangely, none of them was crying, it was too painful and beyond tears. It was a goodbye, and the younger had to say something. He had to. But what could be said? He wanted to scream, to yell, to order Zuko to live for him. Another day, another week, another lifetime. They had so much to see, to do, to try. He wanted to make love once again, fiercely like when they were young and strong, slowly like when they got married, with care like the last time they did it. It was so long ago, he still desired him, still worshiped that body, he still needed him, he still wanted to be one with the men that had pleaded his heart and soul to him. 

"I will never be angry at you for that, Zuko, I... Agni, this is so hard. I will always, always love you, and I won't love you long in this life, you know it, Izumi knows it, we are the same soul divided into two bodies, once you are gone, I will too say my goodbyes. But I don't know if I'm ready to say goodbye to you now. I would plead everything I have to have you for another day, but what is worth your life?"

He turned his body to face Zuko and found him already watching him even with blinded eyes. They cuddled, they cuddled for the last time, not caring if it would leave bruises the next day, not caring if it was making their limbs numb. 

"I love you, Sokka, I love you more than words can tell, I love you more than I could ever imagine loving someone when I was that young scared boy, I love you more than it is possible to love, yet you did it, you made me live and love, and dream and wish. You made me feel alive. You made me stay in this world when it seemed to reject me."

He coughed, cause his throat was sore and he had nothing to add anyway. Words couldn't tell how much he loved that young fierce fighter that became a wise ruler at his side, and he even loved that crinkled old man. And only their bodies almost fused together and the radiant warmth they exchanged could describe it. 

"I love you too, and if it meant that the price to pay is this pain, this excruciating pain, then I would do it again, because it is so little compared to what you gave to me.   
\- Then I'll see you again, sleep well my dearest.   
\- I'll see you tomorrow, your Hotness."

Zuko smiled, he felt it against the column of his throat, he felt his breathe slow and the low rumbling if his snoring. He drifted soothed by the slow yet steady heartbeat. 

When he woke up, the silent made him freeze, he opened his eyes to watch that face he knew by heart, overwhelmed by adoration and a strange feeling of contemplating someone he did not knew. It was Zuko, yet it was... not. No breathing, no snoring, no steady heartbeat. He was gone. Sokka raised his head toward the ceiling, toward the sky and pleaded "bring him back or take me" again and again, for so many hours that his throat bled in agony, but he couldn't feel any pain. What was pain, compared to the echoing loneliness that was shaking his core and clawing a hole in his heart. He pleaded, but no one answered. Until the servant came, saw the two bodies melted together and Sokka praying to who could hear him for mercy. Bring him back or take him too. 

Eventually, they took Zuko and his mouth felt silent for a week, where he could only say that he was happy, and he died. Or maybe he was just going to be reunited with Zuko.


	3. The story of how he added curtains in my room and a lot of love in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx to rahidas04 for the help o/

"After everything that's happened, you’re still gonna let her sleep with her hands unbound?" Sokka asked, sitting in front of Zuko, but separated by the fire. The young Fire Lord heard him wake up and come, so he did not flinch, but he could not bring himself to look at the other boy, he simply envisioned his face soaked in the light casted by the Moon. The question put him on the defensive, however Sokka seemed not to wish to stir any trouble, rather to try to understand him. Finally, Zuko brought his eyes to him when the younger boy got up to cover his sister with a gesture full of fraternal love. He envied him, but the scarred boy couldn't get those years back. All this time, hating each other had put a dark strain on his family, and he wanted to believe that this trip would at least prevent the hatred to deepen, but he wasn't so sure that it was possible. Nor that Azula even wanted it. Maybe it was true. Maybe he gave her too many chances.However, he did not let himself believe it. He had spent way too many years trusting bad feelings and missed opportunities. When Sokka left, he got up and brought a cover to Azula; but something caught his eyes. 

\--- 

So, he wasn't the rightful Fire Lord, huh? He felt a pang, especially since Aang nearly screamed the same thing that he was thinking about. But he felt relieved. He could leave. To go where? To the Water Tribe? Ah!, like they will ever accept him. He had no family now, no home, no purpose, yet he felt like facing the future for the first time in his life. He wasn't bound to an unpossible quest, or to a fate that was written in his blood. He could be himself. He could go to the Earth Kingdom to give back what he stole from people to survive, he could open with Iroh a tea shop, he was free! Free. It felt like...electricity and anger. Azula was in his back, trying to kill him once again. They were once again forced to fight. Azula because she was blinded by...what was blinding Azula? Power? Or madness? Right now, he couldn't care less, as she was pushing him to the ground, yelling about a woman's plan. 

And it felt, no, tasted like anger, blood on his tongue and blood running cold in his body. She wanted the throne. She wanted his life. She wanted everything he fought for. And, to Zuko, the familiar feeling of love that he thought Azula deserved as his sister was overcome by anger. And a desperate need to understand. Because he felt love for her even if she was only her half sister, he felt love for her when she came for his head, and every time she acted like a bitch. He felt so much love that confusion, love, and anger melted in his heart and became poison. He goes to catch her ankle, throw her on the ground and use his strength to lift her up by the collar. 

"From the day you were born, you've put me through so much! Why, Azula? Why does our relationship have to be like this?"

But she just can't make any sense and continues to yell at him until he feels like throwing her in the void, just to see if she can scream loud enough down there for him to hear her. But he doesn't and she uses that time to get back on her feet. 

\----

"How are you?" The younger boy sat close to him, in front of Noren and Noriko's house, so close he could feel the tingle of his clothes on his skin. But he wanted more. He needed more, to feel warmth and love, he needed it to burn him instead of that absence of sensations akin to cold. He felt cold and alone, and he tried to put words on it without looking like a pitiful thing. 

"How should I feel about my mother not looking like my mother and with no memory of me?" 

It came with a snarl that the Fire Lord regretted immediately. He wanted to take it back, but it was out of the bag, Sokka looking at him with a hint of surprise and sadness, but no anger nor pity. The blue of his eyes had something soothing that made him feel encouraged to explain himself, him who thought lacked the ability to talk. 

"It's just that I wonder if that woman is even my mother. There's nothing of Ursa in her. I wanted to get my mother back when I came here, but isn't it me being selfish? She wanted to forget me and yet I'm here...  
\- She wanted to forget Ozai. To protect you. There's no telling what she had to go through in order to prevent him to harm you. I'm sure you'll find more letters that she left behind."

Zuko couldn't believe that, but Sokka pushed lightly his shoulder against his and stayed there, closer than ever, as an attempt to comfort him? Or maybe to anchor the boy into a reality where he was loved. Where he had a family, one that he got by himself, one that loved him just the way he was. He thought of Azula. Who did she ever have? Fear and Ozai as her only source of warmth, when even in exile he had the comforting rambling of Uncle Iroh. He looked up to the sky, felt the slightly cold air gushing through the trees and roses. The golden-eyed boy turned towards Sokka, facing him a long time, way more than he should have, finding in the familiar face some strength. It was there. In Aang's face, in Katara's face, in Toph's face, in Iroh's face, in Suki's face. Delicately carved into familiar faces the reasons of him, ascending the throne. He wanted to protect them all. To build a world that could let those children bloom and live in peace. Before, he wanted to be Fire Lord to prove to the world he was worthy, but now...now he needed to be Fire Lord to make the world a worthy place for such brilliant human beings. He sighed, passed his hand on his face, and turned it to face the cold wind. Hot air slipped through his nose after each breath. He looked briefly at the lighted window of the house, he thought he could hear his mother's voice, and thinking that she was his mother, no matter the face or the memories, made his heartache for more. He wanted to know her. He needed to know her. And his newly found sister. And Ikem. 

"You should go inside. I'll keep watch, okay?"

Sokka was carefully watching him with piercing eyes that could see no matter how dark it was outside. Maybe it was Yue's gift to him. To be always blessed by the moonlight, even when she was partially hidden by the clouds, she still cast a magical white glow on the boy, making him look like a spirit. But maybe, he was. He was cherished by the Spirit World, got abducted, fell in love with the Moon, what was next? Zuko forced himself to escape the trainwreck of his thoughts and acquiesced. He turned his heels to knock at the door but stopped midway. When he looked at Sokka, the boy was smiling fondly, he almost wanted to stay in the calm embrace of that sight rather than sharing a long-desired diner with his mother. Instead of disappointing the blue-eyed boy, he chooses to smile back and say: "Thanks a lot, Sokka. I would have probably given up if it wasn't for you."

And left to meet his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like that chapter, at all. Did not knew what to do with it to save it anyway so... oopsy ?


	4. Am I getting dramatic? Yes, I should redecorate another room to calm my mind. Or do my job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thanking my lovely beta again, because I would most likely be crying in a very dark corner (more likely near my fridge to eat some ice cream).

"Toph, I'm so glad to see you", says the Fire Lord while power walking in the young bender's direction, hugging her as they meet. "I missed you, you look taller!" He added speaking lower, but Sokka managed to hear it, as he came to join them, hugging Toph after Zuko. 

"How come you never hug me when I'm coming to see you, huh?  
\- Because you always come to see me as the Southern Water Tribe's Ambassador? Do you see me hugging the Earth King?"

He saw the hint of amusement in the golden mist of Zuko's eyes but caught a glimpse of something else. Something like a fire, warm but dangerous. The younger boy decided to laugh it off, saying that he will get his hug next time, and maybe it was more than just a silly joke. Maybe. He was in the Fire Nation to discuss founding a bending academy in each Nation or Kingdom, but every representative of the other countries left and he had found the excuses to play with Uncle Iroh to stay a bit longer, and if Zuko knew it was an excuse to tag along, he said that he could stay and that it was easier than coming back for Toph's visit. 

And so he stayed, was cordially invited to some official meetings, spent an awful lot of time helping Iroh miss his meetings and strolled across the Moon and Sun Garden, Zuko's favorite place in the earth, where only the Fire Lord's family and very close friends could see. He took a lot of breaks to show Sokka his hiding places, enjoying the presence of his mother after all the turmoils. Sokka liked those moments the most, made of utter peace; birds singing and no officials judgy eyes on them. Mocking the young Lord for no reason, whispering treacherous intents, like a fox-snakes drunk on schemes and conspiracies. Sokka hated them with passion, they hated him too because he was a mere water tribesman. And they had to bow to the young boy because Zuko made it clear that Aang was the Avatar, Toph was the precious daughter of the Beifong family, and Katara along with him was akin to princes in their tribe. And they saved the world from never-ending tyranny, too. So they bowed in front of him and spoke of ill intents behind. Cowards. The palace was full of cowards and useless old men, because they had not got the memo that women were equally as good at counseling, and people that dreamed of putting back that crazy old mad Ozai. 

And so his paradise was that garden where fox-snakes were not allowed in order to keep the birds happy, and at one point, Sokka took back redecorating various rooms not to feel like an imprisoned songbird. So he was relieved to have Toph at his side, because she was not really the diplomatic type and maybe, maybe that old rusty and cold palace needed some hard truths. 

"I managed to get the evening for ourselves only", the Fire Lord was guiding them near the private part of the Palace, "I told the officials that the travel would tire you out so...  
\- I'm not tired, who do you think I am?" 

As usual, Toph was not letting others brood her, Zuko looked at her smiling and laughed before adding to appease her: "I know, but I wanted to have my friends alone to catch up, and Katara and Aang might be tired." Just like that, Sokka was mesmerized by how fast and naturally it came to Zuko to express his feelings to them. 

It was decided that they would enjoy the warmth of the setting sun by eating on the patio with his mother, little sister, her father, Iroh, the Kyoshi warriors, and his guests, Azula being still in the run, and to be fair, Sokka was aware that the farther she was, the happier Zuko was to not worry about how he could help her. How he could save her. Aang and Katara arrived an hour or so later, running into Zuko's arms. Sokka pouted and protested that he was here as a friend and everyone laughed at his face, which made him brood for about five minutes until Suki pushed him in front of a table packed with a wide array of food. They ate until they were all full and drank more tea than they should have, but the trip had tired out the three that came the last, and so it was decided that everyone would sleep in Zuko's room, beside his family, because they wanted to let him enjoy friendship as much as he could. 

Toph was the fastest to reach the room, followed by Aang and Katara that wished a good night to everyone fast. Zuko was taking his time, talking with his mother while Kiyi was asleep in her father's arms. Sokka nodded to Suki to go first and occupied himself by chatting with a half-asleep Iroh. When finally everyone left, they were the only one that had to go to the Fire Lord's room. And before entering the quiet room, Zuko stopped. Which naturally made the younger boy, always conscious of his friend whereabouts, withdraw his hand that was about to reach the door. He only had time to face the fire bender before he was pulled in a hug. It was fast, a bit unreal, and burning. The fire crawled under his skin, alarming his heart and nesting in his stomach, like a pool of lava. Before pulling off, Zuko whispered "thanks, Sokka" and he opened the room. 

He put his hands on his face to cool down and was left chanting "shit, shit, shit", because he got burned and wanted more. So much more. And at this moment, seeing how easy it was for the honey-eyed boy to pull off, he felt alone with his silly wishes. What was left for him were the tingle under his skin and all his dignity. And if he fell asleep wishing he could reach Zuko's hand, then no one would ever know. 

———

The meetings were less frustrating than he imagined them to be, not because those old farts were particularly trying to be nice, or even polite, but because Toph and Katara were not here to be nice or polite either. Aang, Iroh, Zuko, and Sokka were exchanging glances full of "thanks to every spirit and god there is to have them in our team and not against us". They even had some laugh. And for three days, they ate under the patio when the sun was too hot and seating in the grass when it was sunset or bearable. The last day, Toph would stay another day with Zuko while the other had to go back to the Water Tribe, the very last meal they shared, Zuko and Sokka were last to join the garden when just before getting under the light of the scorching sun, Zuko guided him toward the others by placing his hand on the small of Sokka's back, touch as light as a feather, but again, burning like a million suns. He had a very small yet radiant smile that Sokka had never seen, and just like that, the moment was over even though the hand was imprinted in his back and mind, burning like the scar the older boy had received. One was out of pure cruelty, the other was out of... of what? They were so close to the others that Zuko just sat with them while the other was stuck, frozen, torn apart by so many contradictory feelings that he felt just like exploding. Katara caught them, of course, she did, she saw him being flayed alive by how much a simple friendly gesture could put him in turmoil, but Sokka found the strength to move again, and pretended to be unbothered, the same as always funny type. 

During their flight home, he told Katara he was just blinded by the sun, and in a way it was true, and maybe she understood that Zuko was now his sun. He had had a sun and a moon, and he was getting eaten alive by the sorrow they inflicted him. But he was not ready to talk, so she put her hand on his shoulder and if he cried, she did not acknowledged it.


	5. In which I'm annoying, but also hella cute. But those puppy eyes are not working and right now, someone is kicking my ass. For being annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My english is wonky, I don't know what wonky means, but I read it in a Harry Potter fanfic. I used scribens to correct some of my mistakes, and all my willpower.   
> Please enjoy. And if you did not enjoy, please enjoy it anyway.

Sokka looks radiant, thinks the older boy, while watching the blue-eyed teenager sprayed on the floor, his blue tunic cut in the Fire Nation's fashion all over him but showing a little flesh just under his belly, but not outrageously low. He looks at him with fondness and a lot of annoyance too.

"Will you get up and leave my room, Sokka? Some people have actual jobs, you know?  
\- Huh-uh, nah."

The younger one says, in a very childish tone. He wants to burn him to crisps to be honest or maybe just kick him VERY HARD. But he doesn't, not because he likes the boy, but because he can't, Suki is watching him, in full Kiyoshi gear. He looks behind his shoulder to make her do something, anything, he really needs to review the scrolls Sokka lies on.

"I know you want to murder him, Fire Lord, and I can't say that it doesn't feel like the right thing to do, but hiding the body will take too long without Toph's bending."

She explains, shrugs and leave. It means "deal with it or pays me more", think the fire bender, and he pinches his noise, loudly sighing. Sokka had those moments now that were just... childish. He threw tantrums and refused to do anything beside staying with Zuko to annoys him. Not that he minded, most of the time, but he felt that something was off. One, because Sokka was a total pro, he played the dummy most of the time, especially around their friends, but when he was Ambassador Sokka, he was an amazing mind and strategist. Agni, Zuko knew he, himself, was not an idiot, far from it. But Sokka had a very practical and professional brain, and he was FAR from being professional right now. Two, Sokka was maybe, due to his job, the closest one of the Gaang to Zuko, beside Iroh, and they both knew he needed some time off. Some calm. Because the truth was that being Fire Lord was a constant and overwhelming feeling. And having Sokka with him all the time was driving him mad because he had to be Zuko all the time, and not the mess he was, alone, in the privacy of his room. He knew Suki knew. He knew Tai Lee knew, and he knew Sokka respected that he needed sometime to hide when he was falling apart. They hated that, him being so stressed he could only get aggressive, like when they first met him, when he almost killed Sokka and when he burned Suki's village. But the truth was that nothing could be done, because he did not wanted help. And three, Sokka knew better than anyone that feeling of not wanting to show people his worst side.

But there he was. Always there.

"Sokka, I beg you, I need these scrolls, give them to me, I will let you do whatever you want or need.  
\- Don't wanna.  
\- Agni ! Sokka get u-"

Suki came running and Sokka almost jumped out of his skin. Zuko had lost his grip, yelled, and the room had gotten significantly hotter. Sokka was now sitting, ruining the scroll effectively. He thanked Agni for the surprise in Sokka's eyes, not fear, he was feeling bad enough for loosing his temper like this. The Fire bender asked Suki to leave while breathing in and out to get his body temperature to lower. He drew a shaking breath, closing his eyes.

"What is happening, Sokka?  
\- What?" the younger boy was a bad liar. They shared that inability to lie to one another." Nothing!  
\- Ah, now I am an idiot?"

While Zuko dryly laughed at his apparent lie, Sokka wanted to protest, but Tui and La, those golden eyes can reduce him to silence so easily when they look at him like that. Straight. Without shying away. But now, they are darkened by a mild anger and something else. Something that tastes like fear. And it takes him a moment to understand that he is not afraid of having Sokka annoying him forever, he is afraid to get that angry again. The blue-eyed boy shifted, uneasy. He doesn't like what he reads in that gaze, but he's afraid to tell him why he is such an idiot. Sometimes, he feels trapped, because he knows how protective the older bender can be, how fierce he gets over them, and he knows he'll do whatever has to be done to protect Sokka. And to protect Zuko, Sokka might have to stick there, and maybe... maybe give a little more than his time. But again, he knows what's pooling in his heart when he is with the bender, he knows that a pain inflicted to the flesh could not be significant if it was Zuko that was to be hurt. Or worst.

“You are not an idiot, Zuko, sometimes tho I think that I am, because I don't know what to do."

And he looks like he is a little boy lost in the storm at night, very far from his home, in the cold ice of the North Pole. His blue eyes shining with powerlessness, which is wrong. So wrong. He is an awesome fighter, Zuko knows, because they train together. He is a strategist so good that he can beat Uncle Iroh at pai sho. He never gives up, but now, he has, in a way. Zuko fell on his knees at the other one side. He wants to touch him, but he can't. He's afraid he'll get burned. Stupid, for a fire bender, right?

"Tell me what is going on, I can't stand it. By Agni, everyone is so... so overprotective? I feel like a stupid child! I don't need you to protect me!"

He sees Sokka's getting hurt in the way is eyes stops averting his, he knows Sokka can see his own pain in his own eyes. They are just mirroring the other suffering, which, great, the last thing he ever wants is to see the non-bender being hurt but here he is, hurting him. He drops his weight on his ass, hitting with violence his forehead while laughing hysterically.

"Why can't I be the one to take ca-  
\- ZUKO!"

Sokka has his back turned to the windows, but Zuko is too preoccupied by being overdramatic, so Sokka's the first one to catch the shadow moving fast toward them. Way too fast. He throws Zuko's out of the way when the glass explodes behind him, moving over Zuko to protect him but being thrown far. He slips on the carpet when he tries to get up, he can't yell because another shadow is hitting his neck, right in the trachea. He sees stars and Yui, probably, before falling again. He needs to get up fast, find a weapon, Tui and La he has to. Please.

Zuko was luckier, for once in his life, but he couldn't admit that. Not that he got the time to, anyway. Because someone is trying to kill him. Trying hard, judging by the fact that he narrowly escapes the sword trying to pin his shoulder to the ground. He says "no thank you" because he is well behaved and uses his feet to push hard against the ribcage to move the man out of the way. He has barely any time to yell "don't touch him" before the second assassin is hitting Sokka's throat. This time, the room gets very hot because he's breathing fire and everything is set ablaze by anger fueled by fear.

"Get away from him."

He says, and it's with his voice low and rumbling through his lips, the one that makes him sounds like his father, his Fire Lord's voice. He hates it, he does, but he is so damn scared because he could only see the killer's gesture, not if he was armed or if he touched the younger fighter. But Sokka is not fucking moving.

They are fire benders, good ones at that. And Zuko is not able to tame the fear eating him, he's not meticulous, he's not thinking and his fire is looking like the mess he was making before being grounded by the Gaang. Before meeting true fire. The one that brings life. Because he thinks Sokka's throat was sliced, because he is not moving, and he feels like he wants to burn the whole Palace and die right this instant. It's messy, and he thinks he saw Suki trying to get close and not able to come near enough to help because the room is burning.

He's lost, lost in despair, lost in rage, lost in helplessness, alone, because he wants to check on Sokka, because at least he knows he has to make sure, he has to calm down but he can't and soon enough he is bleeding, because they are using swords. And soon enough, again, they are aiming for his heart and he was too busy blocking a tongue of fire to parry, and he's gonna die. What a not cool way to go, he thinks, before the sword is getting buried in flesh.

But not his. Turns out Sokka was not dead and leaped to push him back. Sadly, his shoulder was in the way. And Zuko screams bloody murder, like if he was the one hurt. Maybe he was, because the pain of the flesh is nothing compared to the pain of the heart. He draws Sokka with his right arm in his embrace and turns his body to shield him, hiding the younger boy's face in his neck, fire bending with his free hand. The first one gets lost in the fire, the second one is pushed through the wall by the fury of the inferno.

He can see in the corner of his eyes that Suki and the guards are here, they are putting the fire down, checking on the charred body while the Kiyoshi warrior is approaching Zuko. He did not let go of Sokka, even when the younger one tried to push him, he just fell on the ground while making sure not to hurt him more.

"Zuko, Zuko! I'm all right, see?"

Zuko sees that when he lets go of Sokka, there's a gush of blood jumping out of his shoulder while the Watertribe man just collapses. The blue-eyed boy might have said something very not nice along the way, but Zuko is screaming his name so loud that no one hears it, beside Suki, who will surely not tell Katara that Sokka says bad things while bleeding out to death.

And it goes fast, because it turns out that you have a lot of blood vessels in your shoulder and even if Zuko is applying both hands on the wound, he still gets soaked by the crimson liquid way too fast.

"Go get the healer!"

But Suki is already running and Sokka turns paler with each second that passes.

"Stop moving, please, I can't... Sokka, I can't stop the blood. Sokka?"

His bright blue eyes are smiling, while his uninjured hand shows a little white... item. A Pai Sho white lotus. The sovereign freezes.

"What have you done, Sokka?  
\- I had... Iroh knew that someone wanted to harm you, so... I joined them. To protect you with them. I couldn't let you get hurt, Zuko."

He says in a pleading voice. It makes Zuko wants to shake him hard because he was the one supposed to protect him. But there's only so much you can say when someone's blood is literally jumping in your face... And, there's so much you can say while bleeding out.

"You are an idiot. I have a twenty points presentation about how stupid you are, Sokka, you need to listen to it, it begins with how stupid you are to believe that YOU are the one that needs to protect me, but also you are the smartest man I know."

And he starts to ramble, Sukko could find it endearing, but he passes out at the second point and Zuko was not really making any sense anyway. The young Fire Lord is trying to call his name with tears in his eyes and voice so broke that it was not words but grunts.

And if he cried, after being moved away from Sokka's chest by Suki, his face soaked in blood because at one point his face fell in the other boy's neck, desperate to force him to stay, and if he cried, everyone was too busy trying to revive the Watertribe fighter to try to decipher if it was blood or tears in Zuko's distressed face.


End file.
